I Know Where The Kitchens Are
by Dismay Dot
Summary: Why does Lily really hate James asking her out? Oneshot. As unclichéd in my opinion as possible minus the whole dare shmeal.... which means it's not that unclichéd. Darn!


_Dear Diary,_

_It's been a long week. Exams are coming up, so how could it not be? _

_There was one moment of this week where time seemed to stop. This week _he_ spoke to me. He talked to me in the library. I was so happy. _

_I wish I had a boyfriend. Wouldn't that be nice? If a boy could just come up to me and ask me, timidly of course, would you like to go somewhere this weekend? That would be wonderful. Of course we couldn't go anywhere. Maybe the grounds. Maybe the kitchens, if he knew where they were…_

_Today, I'm tired. I had double Transfiguration, Double Potions, and then Charms. Thank goodness I'm good at Charms. We learned how to the severing charm today. Well, we learned in theory. I can't wait to try it out! Oh, I really hope I do well on my Charms exam. I can get As on all of them, as long as I do well on this one._

_Have to go,_

_Lily Evans_

The young girl closed her diary, leaving it on her bed.

_Knock, knock._

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she said, making her way to the door.

_KNOCK, KNOCK._

"Hurry up! We're going to be late for—" the source of the door's abuse was cut off when the door was yanked away from her hand. "Oh."

"Stephanie, why must you always yell at me when I'm writing in my diary?"

"Lily, why must you always write in your diary before dinner?"

"Fine!" Lily exclaimed with a grin.

The two girls made their way to the Great Hall, chatting about the upcoming exams, and their Transfiguration homework for the long walk.

"Ugh, how on earth am I going to finish Transfiguration homework and _still_ finish the essay for Slughorn?" Lily complained, walking past the threshold into the Great Hall.

You should have started it when you were writing in your diary," Stephanie answered, following Lily.

"Nnn!" Lily baited, turning around to stick her tongue out at her friend.

_Bump._

As Lily was walking forward looking at Stephanie, she bumped into a black haired boy who was leaning back from the table, equally ignorant of his surroundings.

"Watch where your going!" he huffed at her.

"Sorry," was the short answer she gave him, dragging her giggling friend to open seats at the other end of the table.

xxx

"God, Sirius, must you blame it on other people _all_ the time?" the boy's neighbor asked him.

"It was her fault, Remus! Surely you could see that!" Sirius exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Just finish stuffing your face, Sirius. That wasn't even a good joke," the boy on his left side commanded.

With a grumble, Sirius dug back into his dinner.

"So, what're we going to do tonight, boys?" asked the peace keeper.

"How about we play truth or dare again. That was pretty fun," replied the boy on his left with a grin. I'd love to see you write another love poem to the giant squid." The grin got bigger.

"Well, Peter, I can't wait to see you transfigure more socks into marshmallows and eat them," his companion responded with a smile matching Peter's.

"Yeah, that does sound like a good idea, Peter. But, I've got a better one. What about we do our homework?" asked an exaggerated Remus.

"What? We have all night to do that! And we can only go outside for another hour!" Sirius called out, submerging once more from his dinner.

"Well… you do have a point… alright, but no making me do your homework again, or I'm leaving right now," Remus agreed.

Three curses could be heard from the four Marauders.

xxx

After going to the library for as long as they were allowed, Lily and Stephanie returned to the common room with a completed essay for Potions and an armload of books each.

"Hey, Stephanie, you go grab our table and I'll take our stuff upstairs," Lily ordered, snatching her friend's books and stumbling towards the stairs of their dormitory.

"Don't forget the matchboxes," Stephanie called after the retreating girl's back before walking over to "their" table and making herself comfortable.

After almost tripping two times and practically dropping everything in her arms while trying to open the door to her dormitory, Lily made her way to Stephanie's bed, dropping her friend's stuff off.

She then moved to her bed, dismissing the cat lying on it with a short, "move over Freddy," and released her own books and essay before rushing over to her now open diary.

_How did this happen? I could have sworn I left this closed..._

Still puzzling over the open book, she closed it and put on her bedside table where it belonged, before heading over to her school bag and grabbing two matchboxes. Giving her diary one more fleeting glance, she walked out the door, closing it behind her.

xxx

"Ugh, why can't I get this spell right?" a clearly frustrated Lily groaned.

"Oh, Lily, you just have to concentrate! Think, what is the matchbox supposed to become?" Stephanie drilled.

"It's supposed to be a marble. But the shape is just too different. And I'm too tired to concentrate," Lily complained.

"Fine, if you don't want to work, then I won't help you," a yawning Stephanie remarked before gathering her things and heading up to her dormitory.

"Darn, I'll have to apologize later," Lily mumbled under her breath as she moved her wand in an intricate design in the air before tapping her matchbox. A solitary spark rose, then died out.

"Having a few problems?" a kind voice asked.

Lily swung herself around so quickly she almost lost her balance. Sitting comfortably was none other than James.

"Yeah, I can't seem to get this right," she said, turning back to the matchbox.

"Well, I could help you if you'd like," the boy offered, still being abnormally kind.

_Sigh_. "No, I'm to tired to do it now. I'll just hope to get it right tomorrow." Lily began to pack up her things.

"Well, before you finish packing up, I'd like to ask you something." The boys voice went a little strange and he refused to meet Lily's eyes as he asked the next part. "Would you, you know, like to, uh, go out with me?"

Pure astonishment in an unrefined form shone from Lily's eyes. Whether this was a good thing or not, James had yet to decide. He hurried forward.

"Well, I mean, you don't have to, but we could have fun, you know? I mean, we could go down to the lake or something. Oh, I know! I know where the kitchen are!"

The astonishment turned to realization, which then turned to wrath. Lily shoved James as hard as she could. Her efforts were not wasted as he and his chair fell backwards, gaining the duo attention from a few people around them. Some just chuckled and looked away, while others kept watching, both curious and fascinated.

"You miserable slug!" was all Lily would tell the poor boy before she stormed up to her dormitory.

James was left to pick himself up, brush himself off, and head back to his friends with his tail between his legs. All three of his friends were laughing at him.

"Mate, that was the most pathetic performance ever!" was all Sirius could get out before falling to the ground himself.

"You sure are a lady's man, James," exclaimed a chortling Peter.

"You really must teach me your magic," Remus laughed.

"Ah, shut it you three. Okay, so I finished my dare. Now, Remus, don't forget that tomorrow you have to start singing in McGonagall's class."

Remus immediately stopped laughing, although his two giggling companions found it even harder to breath.

"All right, all right, let's just go to bed," Remus sighed, realizing that not only was there homework uncompleted, but also that it was probably going to stay that way.

xxx

Although some might think that Lily had every right to yell at James, at that time, only two minds knew otherwise. One was James himself, realizing that he was neither rude nor mean in his proposition or otherwise, and in no way deserving of the miserable slug title.

The other being was Freddy, the cat. All magical animals had a better sense of what was going on around them, and considering how much time Lily put into her diary and how she forbid anyone from reading it, he knew it was off-limits. He also knew that James had never touched it. The last of his knowledge of this book was that batting its pages around with his paws was abnormally fun.

Years later, Lily realized during a shouting match with James that he had no idea that she had a diary. She then realized, while dating James, that her cat loved it a little too much for his own good. She solved the problem by purchasing catnip to put on objects that were more cat-friendly.


End file.
